See you soon!

Look at that glorious skyline! The lights, the moon, the Needle, breathtaking. This will be my city soon. This will be my next chapter, next adventure, next home. I'm ready to go home. See you in August, Seattle.

Down In The Boondocks...

Now, for most people, me included, this area that I live in isn't the boondocks. However, it has come to my attention that in the world of cable or high speed internet, I am living in the boondocks. This is why I haven't been posting much since I came back home to Virginia. So, I am sorry.

A lot has developed since my last posting. I have gotten a job at our local television station, WHSV TV3. I am one of about 6 master control operators. I usually make sure that the shows are on the air or being downloaded or saved and ready for airtime. It's not an overly exciting job, not a lot of brainpower goes into the job but it can be unpredictable at times and very nerve racking if you aren't sure what to do, which is where I stand at this point. I wish I could say that I enjoy it, but, it's not what I see myself doing forever and ever, which is good. Time will pass.

Recently I had an interview with Mennonite Voluntary Service which would start in August. I am aiming to do a year of service in Seattle (fingers crossed) I am not sure if that is where I'll be placed, but it would be nice. I will know in about two weeks if I have been accepted into the program and then the next step in the process is finding a placement for me. Like I said, Seattle would be ideal, but we don't always get what we want. If I am placed in Seattle, I hope to stay there after my service is finished and start working and live there (provided that I enjoy the city). So, my hopes and moral is high and I get through my days thinking about what my possibilities are in the next 5 months.

I suppose not much is happening. I'm doing the daily grind like any....sigh....adult...would be doing. Work and home and we do it all again the next day. But it makes the weeks go by and weeks turn into months and months turn into more months. I can only take things one day at a time and hope that I remain healthy and happy until my next big move comes along. I miss being in Washington, D.C. a lot more than I thought I would. I miss being around a massive amount of people, public transportation and endless (free) entertainment. Museums, peace marches, rallies, festivals and events, there is always something to do in the city and I know that is where I need to be. It's where I feel comfortable and happy. I just hope that I will find a home that suits me and a place where I can meet new people and make new friends.

Until next time, I hope everyone is doing well and you are surviving life as I am surviving! love love love, Peace!

One World Map, Please.

A friend of mine recently bought me a world map. Yes, this seems to be a bit of an odd purchase for give a friend, but I think it's just perfect. When I got home this afternoon, I spread the map out in my bedless room and I looked over it. First, I pointed (to myself) all the places I had been to, and looked to see how far they were from "home". With a grin, I took my index finger to traced the "tracks" that I took on my free travel around Europe in 2005. I traveled a good distance in only 7 days. From Basel, Switzerland down to Rome, then UP to Vienna, then UP UP to Amsterdam, then trickled down to Paris. Ah, what a good time. I looked over Germany, since I might be heading that way in less than a year, then onto the Middle East. NOT because of the terrible and idiotic war that is happening, but because my good friend left on Friday for the Middle East. Of course, then I popped back over the North America to check out Canada, starting in the west. Victoria, BC first, of course, then up to the northern most point of the country the quickly ACROSS and back down to Fort Erie and Buffalo, NY.

Enough rambling, onto what I think about all this. It's very plain and simple but very complex and expensive, but this is what I have to say about this great big world. Damn, it's BIG, I better get started because I have a lot to see! :)

What You're Doing.....

Welp, I'm home. Where ever home is, right? In this case, Broadway. I had one HECK of a Christmas vacation, spent at moms in British Columbia, with lots and lots of highlights. First Canadian hockey game (which I'd advise each and everyone of you to go to), a kickin' ski trip to Mt. Washington with snow taller than me, a New Year's Eve (day) plane trip where we flew in formation which I have some amazing photos of (I will add later) and of course, outsmarting the Chirstmas flu..(bwahahahaha). Sorry guys who got it :( I spent lots of time with my mom which was nice as well as the pup, Sasha, whom I'm missing right now because I could be playing tug of war with her sheep that she disembowed.

Each time I arrive home, I only wish I were somewhere else. That is a terrible feeling. I hope that in the next 5 years (or less) I find a place to live of my own in a place that I feel is home and I enjoy. That could be Washington, DC, Seattle, NYC, man, who knows?

Well, I'll probably post more later, but I need some rest. Big day tomorrow. Interview! Adios until later!

12/4/07

My amazing Grandmother passed away on December 2, 2007. She was 89 years old and an inspiration to us all and an extremely important person to me. She will be missed. The evening after her funeral, I sat and wrote this poem to her. It's not my best but it won't be my last. This is dedicated to her.


Goodbye
By Sabrina Claire Tusing

When I was little
It was never easy
To say goodbye
On those summers so breezy

I had my swing in the front
Hung with love
By a man so giant
He made the tree look like a shrub

You, You were in the house
Often sitting on your couch
Legs crossed at the ankles
Hands in your side pouch

No one will know
How much those days meant
To a little Virginia girl
Who loved her Grandma’s scent

Now that you are gone
We’ve all laid you to rest
In Heaven with all your angels
I want to let you know that you were always the best

I love you, no words could ever say
I know that you are never too far away
I will speak to you often so I hope you are listening
And until we meet again some day

I love you, Grandma, I love you.

Spin

You are who you made me to be today.
No, it's not good. It's down right distructive.
Yes. I love you.
No. I can't be with you.
We just aren't who we should be and furthermore, we shouldn't be trying so hard.
No. It's not completely your fault
Yes. I sort of want to give it a try.
No. I am sure that I won't be happy.
I'm uncertain.
You are unsure
We are unhealthy
I just want to forget
You are making it too hard for me
We need to be no more.
I want to forget.
you want to love me
We had our time.
Good-bye.

Where I'm From

A Place that is clean and smells dry and fresh
I hear the breeze race through the trees and the water crashing against the hard and moss covered rocks
I see tall seemingly untouchable pines that last forever and the houses with the view of the great mountains and the pacific waters.
I taste home grown. I taste what his hands have touched. I taste newness and unfamiliarity.
Here is where I touch and I know not what I feel. It's surroundings seem familiar enough yet feels the way it should. I touch distance.


This is a poem I wrote while I was on retreat two weeks ago. It somewhat reflects my two homes both in Virginia and British Columbia.