I am nearly at the end of my 4 1/2 year journey and ending another semester of greatness. I sit here in my little room on the 3rd floor of 836 Taylor Street in the Northeast of Washingtin, DC and I nearly tear up. My roommate is snuggled in her top bunkbed getting some Z's and housemates are leaving one by one for Thanksgiving break. Normally, Thanksgiving is like a god-sent while I'm in school, because you know you only have basically 2 weeks left of class after Thanksgiving, but for me, this Thanksgiving seems very different and to be honest with you, I don't like the way it makes me feel. Just like I shared my life with 24 people in the fall of 2005 with my journey to Europe and Africa, I yet again, became vulnerable to 16 new souls this semester in yet again, a different environment. I love the feeling of being stretched and pushed to my limits in these new places, but when these expeirences come to a conclusion I'm completely crushed, it's so nostalgic. How am I different from when I walked through that back glass door in August? I recall my first encounter with Hillary and Kim and faking my confidence to cover up my uncertainties. Going to my internship for the first time and class at Trinity. Who have I become since those early days? What do i want to strive for? These are all questions I ask myself now along with the obvious of "where am I going to work?". I sit here tonight and I think of who is around me and who has embraced me and I realize that I made the right choices. The women who showed me that it's ok to be vulnerable and who was understanding and shared her own life with me and shared that it's ok to not be perfect but to be true to yourself and to take on life head on. She'll never know how she has effected my life thus far. A Goshen girl who challenged me and faught with me, but turned around to give me the biggiest hugs on earth and still loved me after any argument. The Ethiopian/American couple that showed that love is real and possible in this world. The compassion of the numerous social work majors in this house who all have the biggest hearts. And of course a roommate that just really balanced me out. The list could go on and on but in a nutshell, I'm just saying that these people and the people that one surrounds themselves with are what make you who you are. I'm almost positive that I'm not ready to let go of my college years, but it doesn't matter what I think or want, it's still ending and I will be thurst into the work force with blinders only slightly lifted.
Perhaps these feelings of nostalgia are only arising because this is, infact, my last semester of college. I don't really know? I do know that I wish I weren't so sad about leaving. I wish I weren't so unhappy about going back home but I do have a bright future in Europe (hopefully) and where ever my life takes me. I am almost sure that my college career isn't over yet, I never ever ever thought I would think about doing graduate school, but it's a definate choice.
I will update my blog again later this week after Thanksgiving.
The photo above was taken this past weekend at our house retreat to Rolling Ridge, in West Virginia. The retreat was built and started by the same man who started the WCSC program, Nelson Good. This is a photo of my house mates and my professor on a little hike that we did on Saturday. This was one amazing place that gives me a little something to look forward to when I go home.
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