12/4/07

My amazing Grandmother passed away on December 2, 2007. She was 89 years old and an inspiration to us all and an extremely important person to me. She will be missed. The evening after her funeral, I sat and wrote this poem to her. It's not my best but it won't be my last. This is dedicated to her.


Goodbye
By Sabrina Claire Tusing

When I was little
It was never easy
To say goodbye
On those summers so breezy

I had my swing in the front
Hung with love
By a man so giant
He made the tree look like a shrub

You, You were in the house
Often sitting on your couch
Legs crossed at the ankles
Hands in your side pouch

No one will know
How much those days meant
To a little Virginia girl
Who loved her Grandma’s scent

Now that you are gone
We’ve all laid you to rest
In Heaven with all your angels
I want to let you know that you were always the best

I love you, no words could ever say
I know that you are never too far away
I will speak to you often so I hope you are listening
And until we meet again some day

I love you, Grandma, I love you.

Spin

You are who you made me to be today.
No, it's not good. It's down right distructive.
Yes. I love you.
No. I can't be with you.
We just aren't who we should be and furthermore, we shouldn't be trying so hard.
No. It's not completely your fault
Yes. I sort of want to give it a try.
No. I am sure that I won't be happy.
I'm uncertain.
You are unsure
We are unhealthy
I just want to forget
You are making it too hard for me
We need to be no more.
I want to forget.
you want to love me
We had our time.
Good-bye.

Where I'm From

A Place that is clean and smells dry and fresh
I hear the breeze race through the trees and the water crashing against the hard and moss covered rocks
I see tall seemingly untouchable pines that last forever and the houses with the view of the great mountains and the pacific waters.
I taste home grown. I taste what his hands have touched. I taste newness and unfamiliarity.
Here is where I touch and I know not what I feel. It's surroundings seem familiar enough yet feels the way it should. I touch distance.


This is a poem I wrote while I was on retreat two weeks ago. It somewhat reflects my two homes both in Virginia and British Columbia.

Nearly There....

I am nearly at the end of my 4 1/2 year journey and ending another semester of greatness. I sit here in my little room on the 3rd floor of 836 Taylor Street in the Northeast of Washingtin, DC and I nearly tear up. My roommate is snuggled in her top bunkbed getting some Z's and housemates are leaving one by one for Thanksgiving break. Normally, Thanksgiving is like a god-sent while I'm in school, because you know you only have basically 2 weeks left of class after Thanksgiving, but for me, this Thanksgiving seems very different and to be honest with you, I don't like the way it makes me feel. Just like I shared my life with 24 people in the fall of 2005 with my journey to Europe and Africa, I yet again, became vulnerable to 16 new souls this semester in yet again, a different environment. I love the feeling of being stretched and pushed to my limits in these new places, but when these expeirences come to a conclusion I'm completely crushed, it's so nostalgic. How am I different from when I walked through that back glass door in August? I recall my first encounter with Hillary and Kim and faking my confidence to cover up my uncertainties. Going to my internship for the first time and class at Trinity. Who have I become since those early days? What do i want to strive for? These are all questions I ask myself now along with the obvious of "where am I going to work?". I sit here tonight and I think of who is around me and who has embraced me and I realize that I made the right choices. The women who showed me that it's ok to be vulnerable and who was understanding and shared her own life with me and shared that it's ok to not be perfect but to be true to yourself and to take on life head on. She'll never know how she has effected my life thus far. A Goshen girl who challenged me and faught with me, but turned around to give me the biggiest hugs on earth and still loved me after any argument. The Ethiopian/American couple that showed that love is real and possible in this world. The compassion of the numerous social work majors in this house who all have the biggest hearts. And of course a roommate that just really balanced me out. The list could go on and on but in a nutshell, I'm just saying that these people and the people that one surrounds themselves with are what make you who you are. I'm almost positive that I'm not ready to let go of my college years, but it doesn't matter what I think or want, it's still ending and I will be thurst into the work force with blinders only slightly lifted.

Perhaps these feelings of nostalgia are only arising because this is, infact, my last semester of college. I don't really know? I do know that I wish I weren't so sad about leaving. I wish I weren't so unhappy about going back home but I do have a bright future in Europe (hopefully) and where ever my life takes me. I am almost sure that my college career isn't over yet, I never ever ever thought I would think about doing graduate school, but it's a definate choice.

I will update my blog again later this week after Thanksgiving.

The photo above was taken this past weekend at our house retreat to Rolling Ridge, in West Virginia. The retreat was built and started by the same man who started the WCSC program, Nelson Good. This is a photo of my house mates and my professor on a little hike that we did on Saturday. This was one amazing place that gives me a little something to look forward to when I go home.

Cafe Sureia

Mmmmmm. Chai Tea. They claim that it's the best in the city. I'm here to confirm that it's my new favorite chai tea ever on the face of the earth. I've only been around for a short number of years, 24 years and 7 months to be exact, but I am loving this chai tea! Cafe Sureia is located in my neighborhood, Brookland, which is in Northeast Washington D.C. Not upscale by any means, but not the slums. (Brookland that is) We have, one organic grocery store that is fun, a few gas stations, a metro stop, a drug store, a few carry out joints, a very hazardous hardware store (that is another story for another time), anyway, you name it, we can probablyl find it in Brookland.

Cafe Sureia is owned and ran by a family of Ethiopians, I love them. They know me, they are sweet and friendly, and by the looks of things this Saturday afternoon, they make pretty good business. I'm sure there is a success story waiting to be told here! The picture I have posted is a goofy picture of my good friend Melissa and I enjoying a study break while we are at the cafe. This is one of the many places in the city that offer free wifi, so it's nice to come here and get out of the house, but not be too far away and NOT have to use your travel money...but use those two feed that momma gave ya to get here! Here you can purchase, breakfast or lunch. The only downfall, which for me is HUGE, is the fact that they close at 6pm. I'd spend all my money here if they were open late at night....perfect little place to come when one is bored for sure. They have a bathroom...so basically, all that anyone needs to survive: chai tea, food (breakfast or lunch), bathroom, wifi, tables, chairs, couches, ect.

I have about a month left here in NE DC before they kick me out. Uh-so sad. This morning when I was walking to Sureia, I was walking alone up the 12th street, and I am always amazed at the fact that I really just love the city. I love the feel of always something happening, even if I'm not a part of it. The cars zooming past, the crosswalks, the people, the sidewalks. I love it. I feel as though I'm closer to reality when I'm in a city. I'm aware of this world here. Aware that homlessness is real, poverity is real, hunger is real, violence happens all the time, life is possible without a car, a large home, or television, and public transportation is the common part of everyones life. I'm actually tearing up thinking about leaving here. This was my first chance to live in a city for longer than 2 or 3 weeks and I unknowingly fell in love with this place I used to call a dump. I've become so much more interested in my country while I've been here not only because decisions are made that effect my whole country no more than 15 minutes away from where I sleep at night, but because people here thrive on it. They breathe it each and everyday at my work, at my house, and school. Washington D.C., despite what so many people think, has the class of the north and charm of the south. A perfect balance for someone just getting their feet wet in a big city. There are, of course, things that no big city can compinsate for the smaller community that I grew up in. Friendliness always go a long way anywhere you go, but it sometimes doesn't help in a larger city, even the southern charmed D.C. but you do, however, find those who are friendly and are willing. There is still a lot of hope for this city yet!

Well. I will add more and edit this entry, but I am being distracted at the traffic outside the window of the cafe. I'm such a people watcher! :)

Lincoln Park

As a house of 15, we are all a part of two courses that are taught by an EMU professors, who lives in Maryland (which is about 10 minutes from our house). Each week we either meet in the basement of our house which serves as a class room or multipurpose room or we go out in the city to look at art work or culturally historic sights. This past Wednesday the group went to the Southeast, to Anacostia. If you are at all familiar with the District, you would know that Anacostia is probably the worst section of D.C. and for some very interesting reason (which is unknown to me) the Smithsonian decided to put a museum there. Unlike ALL of the Smithsonian Museums, this one is very small, but it's about the history of Anacostia which is very rich and somewhat sad. Instead of going into too much detail, you should probably just check it out online for yourself. In a very shortened verison, Anacostia, like most of our great land, was occupied by Natives who lived in that marshy wet land and farmed it without trouble, until the wonderful white man decided to ruin it and come and take over the land. Basically from that point on, Anacostia went down hill. It's a very interesting area full of rich and intersting history.

The other highlight of our trip that day was to Lincoln Park, which is almost an unknown little park in Northeast. Lincoln Park has the large statue that you see here in this blog, of Abraham Lincoln and a former slave, during emancipation. In President Lincolns hand is the Emancipation Proclimation. The slave, is receiving his freedom, though he is still bowing under the President. This park is small but beautiful and it's interesting to note that most of the people in the park are people of different racial backgrounds who are serving as nannies. They bring the children to this park to play. It seemed like a very safe place, right in the middle of Washington DC.

I enjoy going on this little trips for the educational reasons. My professor is very knowledgable and she is fun to listen to, but my favorite thing to do is drive around in the city. I'm learning where I'm going and where I'm at and I do very well in traffic and directions. I feel as though time is flying by so quickly and that makes me very sad. My time is limited in DC and my free time is VERY limited with my internship and three classes. I do manage to find time to go and do fun things and see fun sights. I could see myself living here in D.C. maybe? If i found the right job.

Just to get you up to date, I'm working at WPFW 89.3FM it's Washington D.C.'s Pacifica Radio station. If you have ever listened to ANY good talk radio show, you would have heard of Democracy Now! With Amy Goodman, that is producted on Pacifica Radio in NYC. She started here at MY station. We have jazz, hip hop, and all sorts of good music at the station, plus numerous talk shows. It's a good place.

My journalism class is going well, I think. I'm making pretty good grades which is exciting. I'm becoming a little sad that this is my last semester at school, only because life without school seems so dull and redundant. Life goes on and people grow up and get jobs and families and all that stuff. I guess I just don't want to do anything of the nature. I guess I'll have to conform to the norms. Hopefully I can put a twist on things.
I'll write more in a few days. Must get some rest...I have a busy week!

A CITY IS A CITY

I'm sitting in my room, trying, but not too hard, to do some homework. My desk is positioned to look out the window to our backyard. There is an alley that runs to the side of our house and behind and often times people walk through these alleys and of course, cars make their way through. Since the house is so close to Catholic University, The National Basilica, two Theological schools, and the Franciscan Monastary, it's nothing out of the ordinary to see Monks, in their black robes, walking past the house and on the streets. There is something of beauty about the city and the people that inhabit it. I don't associate Washington D.C. with monks as much as I would with, Taize, France or some larger city in Europe. So when I see these Monks walking on Sunday morning or to and from class or mass with their bookbags, I crack a smile of delight because a city is a city. Yes, of course, Paris is different than Washington D.C. New York is different from say, Frankfurt, but people who make up these cities generally are the same.

Clearly my nostalgic self is just in a reflective mood. I realized yesterday that I have been in D.C. for a month and the time has just flown by. My time here is short and that is so disappointing, but at least I know that this is one more city on my list of favorite cities. I'm reminded everyday as to why I can't see myself being anywhere else but in a city in a small little one bedroom apartment enjoying life.

Peace Rally and March

Who Are We?

My fourth week in Washington D.C is drawing to an end. It's hard to imagine that before these weeks started I only knew a handful of people that I'm now sharing a house with. We have meshed well, and of course we run into our tiffs but we almost always forgive and forget quickly.

This past week during our seminar class, we took a trip which was titled "Mennonites and Monuments". We talked around some of the monuments in D.C. such as The Lincoln Memorial, The Vietnam Memorial Wall, World War II Memorial, and the Franklin Roosevelt Memorial. At each of these stops a couple of students were assigned to do some type of reading that went along with the monuments. For example: I read an article talking about a young Mennonite fresh out of college that went to Vietnam to start a Mennonite Central Committee Unit alone. It shared his letters back to home where he expressed his neutrality in the war and his convictions as a Mennonite. Other articles were linked to each Monument. It was a great exercise for us as a class to expand our minds and to fully understand each of the monuments and their original meanings and what that meaning has morphed into in the last half a century.

I feel very confident that my time spend in Washington D.C. will be an amazing and educational time in the sense of history, politics, and racial diversity and the troubles that this city and nation face each day. Not only learning from my professors but from my peers is vital in my stay here. This is my final semester in college, and though I am excited to not ever have to worry about assignments and such, I'm a little sad to be leaving this part of me behind but I know that I will carry with me the knowledge that I have gained and the aspiration to want to learn more as I grow older.

In the picture above you see a few of my classmates and professor standing at The Lincoln Memorial and it's a pretty sweet picture of the Washington Monument. It was one of our very first days of great weather. Fall is on its way!

The Metropolitian.....

In the last two weeks I have since moved to Taylor Steet NE Washington DC and got to know 17 new people, 15 of which I am living under the same roof as me. Talk about excitement, thrills, chills, annoyances, stress and laughter. Overall, a wonderful experience. I'm taking one class at Trinity University, a journalism class. What better city to be located in than my Nations Capital.

Our first week was nothing but orientation, and we sure were exhausted at the end of each day. I'd have to say that the canoe trip down the Anacostia River was the highlight of the week. It was fun to laugh it up with my fellow housemates and Prof. Kim. If anyone knows the history of the Anacostia River, you maybe asking why in the world were we floating down that nasty river. We were lead by the Anacostia Watershed Society. They are trying to clean up the river. It's a struggle, but a working progress. It was a very interesting time.

I started class last week, as I said above, I'm taking a class at Trinity University, an all womens college. I sat in my class looking around and was wondering why I didn't just attend an all girls school to begin with? I may not have done as bad my first two years.....but we will never know, and of course, I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't chose EMU.

Being that this is my last and final semester of my college career, I know not a better way to spend it than with 15 people and one amazingly inspirational professor in the great city of Washington DC. My first two weeks have been full of stresses, laughter, education, the whole works. Thank goodness for my 4 1/2 great years at EMU. I have learned that through mistakes that i have made, something good came from it, even it meant a hardship. I look forward to the next 3 1/2 months.

28 More Days......

I decided to venture out of the house today, on my day off, to the place that should be the last place I go, School! I'm sitting here listening to music and enjoying the peace and quiet, and of course, internet :)

It is only 28 short days left until I leave for Washington D.C. Although I'm extremely excited about leaving Harrisonburg again for a semester, my FINAL semester for that matter, there are a few things left to deal with before heading up there to the Metropolitain.

The last week my friend Pat and I opened up a whole new can of amazing worms that may cause me to go broke in the next few weeks. We went to the fabulous New Market Rebels game last Tuesday. I have since went to 2 about to be 3 more Valley League baseball games. Shout out to you Pat, for reminding me of what I enjoy doing! Next summer I play to go to more Rebels games than I did this year. They are entertaining...

Anyway, nothing much going on other than the summer days going by faster and faster than they ought too. Two thumbs down to summer going fast! I suppose life does travel quickly, which is why we must be faster than that! I hope that the rest of you are enjoying what is left of the summer months and are about to embrace another beautiful fall season quickly approaching, which is MY favorite time of year! Cheers!

Nobody Told Me

Everybody's talking and no one says a word
Everybody's making love and no one really cares
There's Nazis in the bathroom just below the stairs
Always something happening and nothing going on
There's always something cooking and nothing in the pot
They're starving back in China so finish what you got

Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed -- strange days indeed

Everybody's runnin' and no one makes a move
Everyone's a winner and nothing left to lose
There's a little yellow idol to the north of Katmandu
Everybody's flying and no one leaves the ground
Everybody's crying and no one makes a sound
There's a place for us in the movies you just gotta lay around

Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed -- most peculiar, mama

Everybody's smoking and no one's getting high
Everybody's flying and never touch the sky
There's a UFO over New York and I ain't too surprised

Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed -- most peculiar, mama

-John Lennon (1940-1980)

I promise!

Ok People, I promise to update as soon as I can catch up with myself! I haven't forgotten!!

Flying in our Friendly Skies

So, here I am, stuck at Edmonton, ALBERTA! Yes, thats right folks, for all you people that have ever been to this airport, it's crap! Vending machines to accomidate my hunger...I'm eating a bag of chips for lunch! Rockin'! But they are Miss Vickies, so that is a little better.

I'm not going to lie, I love to fly, I think it's the ideal way to travel. For example, it took us, in a car, from Calgary, Alberta to Victoria, British Columbia, 2 days, broken up. It's about 12ish hours all together. Now, I flew from Victoria International Airport to Edmonton which is farther north than Calgary, and it took me an hour and 20 minutes. Which do you think I prefer? Now don't get me wrong, I loved the scenes of the rocky mountains and the wonderful wildlife and interesting sights along the way, but flying, my lands, I got a nap in, I didn't get car sick or motion sick, annnnd I'm halfway done with my trip.

Ok, so this is a lot of babbling, only because I bought a days worth of internet because I figured, hey, I'm here for a 2 hour layover, which ended up being 3 1/2 or something, might as well do something fun. You maybe asking, Sabrina, why aren't you reading a book? Well, I did that too, on the plane, and I did it on vacation. One book down, one more to go....

I enjoyed my vaca in BC as I usually do, but when it's time to go home, I guess I'm more than ready to be home. What is "home"? Well on this trip I've come to realize it's not really that I MISS Harrisonburg, or have a disconnected feeling when I'm away, but I'm more or less discussed with the fact of living out of a suitcase. So whether my home is in Harrisonburg, Washington DC, Colorado, France, doesn't matter, I'm settled when I'm not living out of a suitcase. So....I'm ready to not be on the RUN and feeling like a tourist.

Ok. I'm finished complaining and talking usless and trivial things. I'm ready to be home. the end!

Commencement has come and gone...

It's true, it has come and gone. My beloved school is my past now. Of course, I still have one semester left, but it won't be on the campus of EMU, and that is ok. The more and more I think about being in Washington DC my final semester the more I am sadened because I love EMU. I thought I'd never fall in love with a school like I did this one. Eastern Mennonite University was a place that I never wanted to go when I was searching for colleges. I never went to college, for two years. I worked. A crazy fortune of events happened soon before the fall of what would have been my third year of no education. I finally gave into the school I never wanted to be a part of. The school where my parents went, my uncles, cousins and brother before me. I know now why I love that school so much. It's beauty, it's walls of wisdom and people and community. These walls shape who I am now, and I hope that they will continue to shape me as I grow older. I want to be able to come back to this place and be proud of what I have become because of the knowledge set forth from this University.

This place in my near past has set an imprint of wisdom upon me. It has set a goal to strive to be my best and I have taught myself through this journey of my life to never give up and great things will come for those who wait and try and never give into anything. Perhaps school isn't my favorite thing to do, but maybe I'll go back, so that one day I can teach. I still think I should have been a teacher.

All is well, I'm on vacation and I can say that I'm enjoying it and looking forward to a productive summer and an exciting fall. Keep those fingers crossed that I get that one job I'm searching for!

New Idea...scratch my other post!

Ok, so I came up with a new idea and it has to do with my new found friend, Sedrick. He is a gnome and I will be taking him to new places that he has never seen. He'll be making adventures to the supermarket, maybe to the JMU, it's so hard to say right now, I'm following Sedrick with the camera. So meet sedrick.

An Artists Statement

In my photography work I have noticed that I enjoy taking pictures of objects, things that are old and decaying, things that often represent history in some way. I try hard never to take typical pictures, pictures that you see many things of, but how often does that actually happen?

In my theme I plan to take an object, something small, very unimportant and useless when it's by itself, but when given to someone, I hope that they can make it into something very imaginative and exciting. Something useful and profound, perhaps.

In my series, i'll take an object, new or old, I'm not sure, and hand it to many differen people in different places, and hopfully of different ages and see what they do with this object.

Lets hope that they all do different things with it!

Long Time Coming

It has been far too long since I have sat down and felt like writting and actually continued to write without being interrupted or just no into it. Here I am writting something quick while my medicine kicks in and I can go to sleep. Yup, that's right, I'm sick. This winter has been a tough one for me and health. I've been sick at least twice this winter if not more. I have missed work 2 times because of it, and that is just unlike me.

I have less than a month to finish up my senior project, which is pinhole photography, and it will be displayed starting on April 13 at 7:30, which is when my gallery opening is. I have much to do in between now and then, like, take more pictures, get them mounted, write an artist statement, name my pictures, possibly get two enlarged (very questionable), annnnnd doing other school work in the mean time. Ah college, what will life be without you?

I have been offically accepted into the Washington Scholars program in DC for next fall, and, that will be the end of my college career. For now at least. (No I really am NOT considering Grad school, but I'll leave that option open JUST incase). This time away from Harrisonburg will be good for me, but often I think about other elements that I'm leaving, and I admit, I get a little butterfly in my stomach. Leaving Kiel, the family, and of course, the puppy, will be sad, but I have to keep telling myself that it's ONLY 2 hours away, it's not like France...which is another big step I'll try to take later on down the road..(fingers crossed).

I have successfully gained about 4 pds. in a week. I'm addicted to Kiks cereal annnnnd just eating in general. Exercise is on the agenda for when the nice weather gets around here. I'm ready to run again....yes, running....

I am, for better words, greatly looking forward to Canada in May. Ontario and Alberta on the agenda, and of course my last week and a half will be in British Columbia. I almost instantanisly get a smile and happy feeling when I think Victoria, BC. Sunny and happy weather the west coast and of course....lovely faces. I only wish I could spend more time there. If I didn't have so much to take care of. Maybe next summer?? Or Christmas? Either way, I will get out there again sometime.

Other than classes, working, and Kiel and puppy, nothing much new is going on. I'm hanging out a lot with my best friends and having some good memories made then.

Anyway, nothing new, still have France on the brain, still wanting to goof off instead of doing work, and while almost losing my mind i'm having a GREAT time living!! Life is good. Peace!

It truely Makes me Laugh

Honestly, right now at this point, there are so many things that can keep me down but one thing that keeps me going is Anchorman with Ron Burgundy. It's seriously hilarious! I have had one of the worst weeks so far and finally I decided F all of it, and popped in Anchorman and laughed my buns off all by myself.

There will be more blogging to come but for now, You Stay Classy.

You Only Get what you Give

Today was one amazing day! I accomplished something that I was so scared to even try because of my fear of continual failure. But I accomplished it and it made me feel real good and I did it with the company of a good friend. Pinhole photography is the medium for my senior project and though I mastered the digital pinhole, obviously, but I did the real thing, and I was real nervous, but I got a few good shots out of it for the gallery opening. I'm real excited.

I also got to spend about 30 minutes with two good friends warming up from being out in the cold. I came home from the excursion to take a nap, then go out with another wonderful friend for dinner.

In conclusion, laughs are great. The world CAN be wonderful if you make it and you can only GET what you give. If you are wondering about the photo above, this is a picture britney took of me today in front of Jalisco's restaurant because my coat matched the paint. Yes I kinda look sad, I dont know what look I was going for? But I was trying to blend in..ha :) Peace!

Very brief update. It snowed lastnight and it was beautiful I got accepted to go to Washington DC next fall for the semester. That is an extremely brielf summary of my life at this moment. Peace!

Seeing

I see what the posibilty is. I see where I can go. I see what I can do.
I see that I am scared. I see that I dont really have the answers.
I see that I miss you. I see that you miss me too.
I see that I have a future with you. I see that I'm frightened.
I see that that one day a choice will have to be made.
I see that I will need answers.
I see that I dont have to have those answers right now.
I see that it's going to be ok. I love you.

Why don't we do it in the road?

Roads. We use them each and every day in some way. I walk on my road to get to and from school and drive on them to get to and from places around town. Roads and sidewalks, they are kinda sad really. Something with no voice or authority is telling you where to go. It's giving you a path and it's not letting you feel the earth under your feet. How incrediably sad is that? I walked to work yestesrday and I cut paths across campus and didn't take a sidewalk or path for a small portion and I felt like a different person. For that breif moment I felt like i was breaking some type of rule and people were watching me as though i were some type of criminal or escaped convict. I just wanted to feel that earth under my footsteps. I felt successful afterward and wanted more. So next time you are walking (and you have strong ankles of course) take the unbeaten path. Dash through the wilderness and feel like you actually did something different for a change. It's what it was ment for...to explore and to connect in some way even if it's by walking through it. DO IT!

Britney and I to Charlottesville

No Regrets

Once there was a boy, who coined the term "No Regrets", and it stuck. "No regrets" the lot of us would say. Perhaps I never fully understood that term until now. Then, it was a term rendered for a trip that was to allow "No Regrets" but now I feel I must move that term onto my life...a life with no regrets. How can I have a life with no regrets? First I must, maybe, come to terms that I probably will have regrets, but they must be minuscule and that I must accept them for what they are and who they have made me today. What I should also remember is that when faced with a difficult decision I must choose what is best for me at the time. I must learn to engage myself into my OWN self to be aware of who I am and what is best for me.

ME. Me is numero uno. Sure, it maybe a bit selfish, but this is who I am right now, and this is who I should be caring for right now. I am who I am, I can surely continue to educate and grow as a person and to explore new endeavors but must never accept less than what I am worthy of. Never settle for less. Do those great things you dream of doing.

Dreaming is who I am. I have these amazing plans, I pray so much that one day at least 50% of them will come true. But why settle for 50% when I can do them all if I honestly try. I should never give up on them...DANG...why do I do that so easily? Why have I done that in the past?

I must say one more thing before I leave here tonight. Thank you. Thank you to the boy who said "No Regrets" that fateful journey we once took. Thank you for the one who reminded me of it. Thank you to the person who has possibly always been there, even when I never intended for our friendship to be so deep it really has turned out to be extremely meaningful and an important friendship to me. And to that same person, who can really boost my spirits and encourage me. And one more thank you....to the people who never thought I'd be anything in this life and who never knew me for what I am. I hope one day you will soon see what I have become. Most importantly I thank You.

No Regrets!
France/Benin '05

Young, Beautiful and Ambitious

I want to thank you for helping me realize that I am young, beautiful and that my ambitions are amazing and that I need to act on them. I'm 23 years young. I have my whole life to do all that I make of it! I'm ready to take on the challenges of life and the excitment that lay ahead of me.

For some of you reading, I'm going to give you a heads up. I have 2 semesters left...2 semesters!!!!!! Though I'm not scared now, I will be. But, I look forward to the challenge and I will be great out in the world. I want others to see what an amazing women I am. I want to empower others with my personality and my drive. Change is good and change is what I'll be seaking as soon as I am finished. I can only hope that I wont chicken out and settle for something I will regrete when I'm 50 or 60 or 70 years old.

Thank you for making me who I am and I will utilize that gift I have to do the things in life that I do best and the things I'm not so good at. I'm ready for the ultimate challenge....LIFE....